Making a real difference

As a mother you have some say, but on the whole you can do your best and kids can turn out good or bad instead of your effort.  My kids turned out well in spite of me.
As a teacher, you can do your best, but it is still in the hands of the learner.

As a Sonographer, it is in MY Hands. Scary. So hard.
Pray for me. I hope I can make it through school. The hardest thing I have ever done.

A load off my mind!

I am only working two days in the next schedule. I got off work early walked Sheba in the field then picked up Kylie and walked the both of them again. I love the outdoors - renews me.

Change in direction

So, I have started Ultrasound school. 7 months have gone by and I have 9 more to go.
In that time I have had two surgeries - one taking ovaries and fallopian tubes out and they found stage 1a cancer. The second in December were the uterus was taken and some  more biopsies. I am clean, just have to have follow up appointments.
The winter has been a hard one. I have been working also and find that I am just exhausted.
I am emotionally and physically drained.
I have put myself on "ON CALL" status at St Mary's so I don't have to work every week. I can try and recuperate.
I started crying at clinicals yesterday. It was very embarrassing. Just exhaustion with a little depression mixed in.
I did not get out and do thing enough to help my mental state. My one distraction is visiting Dick and Joan 2 -3 times a week.
I do walk Sheba 3 days a week, went snow shoeing with Kat twice, and shoveled, loaded wood, snow blowed, split wood, cleaned house. Not a balance there. I just keep telling myself I can make it 9 more months.
I think things will be better without the pressure of working 12 hours every week. I was on the floor mostly. At the end of the day as a CNA my legs hurt so bad I couldn't even sleep.
So, here is to another new beginning. One were I am taking care of myself a little better.